I try not to get seduced by good titles, much like how we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. 

But I must confess, the title The Unbearable Lightness of Being and the reputation of the author played a significant role in my decision to pick up this book. This was my first encounter with Milan Kundera, a Czech writer exiled in France. There’s something compelling about a writer in exile. What was it that Kundera wrote that was so against the system?

Let me be straightforward—I found the book unbearable. But before I go further, I want to clarify that this is just my personal taste. I’m not a literary critic. I picked up the book, and it didn’t quite meet my expectations. I was disappointed by the lack of depth in the characters. Rather than drawing me in through their values or actions, the characters often repelled me at times. And then, (spoiler alert), Kundera kills them off in a rather brutal way.

Was it the characters’ vision or values that didn’t convince me? I found their portrayals quite shallow.

Did Kundera really just kill his characters in the most disastrous way possible? Just when the reader might expect more depth, Kundera suddenly eliminates them. It reminded me of the movie One Day, where all hope for the audience is crushed by the main character’s sudden death.

Why do writers have this sadistic urge to kill their characters? But with Kundera, it’s even weirder—he doesn’t invest in developing the characters or making them evolve, and yet he kills them off, almost as if he doesn’t expect the reader to feel anything.

Now, let’s talk about the positive aspects of the book, because there are plenty, and they deserve focus.

Cultural and Historical Immersion

The story is set in Prague in 1968, during the Soviet occupation of Czechoslovakia. The historical backdrop is invaluable—it immerses you in a real moment in history. Kundera captures moments like the shaking voice of Dubček during his speech, or Tereza’s work as a photographer, and the portrayal of the conditions of artists in this period. Only a skilled storyteller can make you a time traveler, and Kundera does this brilliantly. I also discovered the Czech poet František Hrubín through this book—another highlight.

The Joy of Etymology

Kundera shares my love of etymology, which is a delightful part of the book. For instance, I learned about the origin of the word compassion from Latin, com (with) and passion (suffering)—it means to sympathize with someone else’s suffering. In other languages, like Polish, German, Czech, or Swedish, it’s translated literally as “co-feeling,” which Kundera argues is even deeper: “It’s the ability to experience with another person not just their pain, but any emotion.”

He also discusses the origin of the word kitsch. For Kundera’s narrator, kitsch is an “aesthetic ideal” that excludes everything unacceptable in human existence. The act of defecation, for example, challenges divine creation: “Either we accept that shit is normal (in which case, don’t lock yourself in the bathroom!), or we were created in an unacceptable way.” Kundera even refers to kitsch as “the aesthetic ideal of all politicians and political parties,” particularly in a society dominated by a single political movement, leading to what he calls “totalitarian kitsch.”

Do we start to understand now why Kundera was politically exiled?

Philosophy, Psychology, and Dreams

The book also dives into philosophy, psychology, and psychoanalysis. Tereza’s dreams reveal her inner traumas, and Kundera explores how her subconscious communicates with her. He ventures into surrealism, but isn’t that what dreams are for?

Memorable Quotes

Here are some of the quotes from the book that stood out to me:

“In the world of eternal return, each gesture carries the weight of an unbearable responsibility.”

“Man can never know what he should want, because he lives only one life and cannot compare it with previous lives nor correct it in future lives.”

“Because a man has only one life, he has no way of testing his decisions through experience, and thus he will never know whether he was right or wrong to follow his feelings.”

“Everything happens only once, and without preparation. It’s as if an actor stepped on stage without ever having rehearsed.”

“Once means never. To live only once is like not living at all.”

“Weight, necessity, and value are three notions intrinsically linked. Only what is necessary is significant, and only what has weight has value.”

“For us, what makes a man great is that he carries his fate like Atlas carried the vault of heaven on his shoulders.”

“The body is a cage, and inside something watches, listens, is frightened, thinks, and wonders—this something, which remains after deducting the body, is the soul.”

“But it’s enough to love madly and hear your stomach growl for the unity of body and soul, the lyrical illusion of the scientific age, to dissipate immediately.”

“A book is a sign of recognition of a secret brotherhood.”

“Our daily life is bombarded by coincidences, fortuitous encounters between people and events. One can justly reproach man for being blind to these coincidences, thus depriving life of its dimension of beauty.”

“Novels aren’t artificial, invented things. Human lives are made up just like this.”

“Dreams are not just a form of communication (possibly encrypted); they are also an aesthetic, a game of imagination, and this game is a value in itself. Dreams are proof that imagining and dreaming of what hasn’t been is one of the deepest human needs.”

“Vertigo is something other than the fear of falling. It’s the voice of the void below us that attracts and fascinates us—the desire to fall, which we resist with fear.”

Final Thoughts

The Unbearable Lightness of Being offers a wealth of philosophical and psychological insights. Though I didn’t connect with the characters as deeply as I would have liked, I do recommend giving it a try and forming your own opinion. It’s a book filled with memorable lines and thought-provoking reflections.

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